I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
