I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
