Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Randomize