You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
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I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
There are leaves in my underwear?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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