And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
