Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
You can't just leave with hair like that
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
