You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever