Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.