..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha