youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
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Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
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It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional