well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
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I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.