no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
We are two peas in an std pod
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In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
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I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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