Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
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Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
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Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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