I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize