I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's great music for shaving your balls
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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