You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
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No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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