My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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