just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
We got so high we made milksteak
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
