I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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