There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
