I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
