Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
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He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
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We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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