i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
it's not cheating when I paid for it
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
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i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
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thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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