living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
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