Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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