Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
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The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
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the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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