either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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