I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How's work?
Spinning.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize