How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
i believe in u and ur pee
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
