Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
