Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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