Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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