Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize