he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
is wine microwaveable?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?