and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize