I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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