Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
