So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
