Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
