I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
