So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
