Where did you get a picture of my penis
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
