Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
