Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Randomize