She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize