who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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