VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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