I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
