i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
She even gives head with a lisp.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize