It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
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While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
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Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
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