anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize