I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize