I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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