On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
